Blue

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

heartbeat

hearing my dad had been in a fire, knowing the pain he must be in.
seeing the insides of his house in ashes on the street, in my mind re-living what had happened.
visiting him in the burns ward, seeing him helpless and hurt.
this has been one emtional time, but at least he's alive.

I got to see Sparks live, one of the first bands I ever really liked.
While being the youngest in the 100s of those who went, I felt oddy at home.
Should have been born in to the last genration... make a note for next time, anyway....

It's weird when something happens that just makes everything else just, not matter...
everything that made me sad before, just shallows in comparason...
maybe it's all helped me more than affected me... no matter how bad that sounds, it might be true.

I needed a night like tonight, something to cheer me up.
Made me feel up to posting here.
Pity I'm still ill, or I could go out and face Jodo.

Be Seeing You.

*hits keyboard*

found myself crying today, over a lot things I thought were behind me...
found myself too ill for Jodo, or just unwilling to face the harsh reminders...
found myself giving up today, I told myself to never do that again...

Maybe I am too fevered to think,
maybe I am forcing this on myself,
maybe I am far too far away.

This is the next stage,
this is what happens,
this is not a good thing.

I know the wrost,
I prepair for it,
I hang back, so it won't hurt so much.

Just need to remember, it's a year before that happens fully,
just need to remember, to make the most of the time left,
just need to remember, not to remember.

Be Seeing You.