Well, yeah... I've had enough of trying to work out how I feel and how other people feel for the moment... it's all gotten that bit too much for me, I'll get back to thinking soon enough, but for now I feel like returning to a frame of mind I had a few years ago.
I think I might suffer from SAD(seasonal ajustment disorder). It happens to my dad, so I don't see him in winter at all really. I really miss him. I hope nothing has happened to him... it's just worrying, when I haven't seen or heard from him in over a month...
Chrismas appoches. This is the least I've looked forward to it, ever. Second one without my granpa... and I just know it won't be as happy as it used to be. I don't even want anything this year, it just all seems so meaningless.
I keep on having these thoughts that everyone I know is dead and I'm all alone. It's horrible, but I can't help thinking about it. I don't know why I can't stop, I hate it, but on some sick level I must enjoy it, it makes me hate myself.
Oh and the happiness of the last post, it lasted five minutes...
be seeing you.
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